#TheStruggleIsReal...
yeah, I know. I can't really use a hashtag on a blog. But it's how it feels right now. I'm struggling.....
I'm struggling with the fact that I have been working hard on TpT, and my blog, and my FB page, and my IG for over 2 years now, and I am just not as good as anyone else. I have 33 followers here on my blog. I have 66 likes on my FB page. I have 212 in my TpT store..... don't get me wrong. I am grateful for EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF YOU! You each believed in me enough to follow me, to buy from me, to comment and interact with me. But again.. #thestruggleisreal. Because I could have more. I could be like my teacher friends I met back in March and have hundreds or thousands. I could be gaining followers like crazy every day and my business could be just exploding..... But it's not. And the struggle isn't because of money, or vanity, or pride, or my ego. It's because I compare myself and wonder, "Why am I not good enough? Why can't I be like that? What's wrong with me?" and I let the enemy into my heart and ruin what could be...what IS so good!
It may sound like a pity party... but I can't be the only one feeling this way... can I?
We women compare ourselves to one another. We compare our looks, our size, our clothes, our hair, our families, our homes, our jobs, our everything. We just do, even when we don't want to. Even though we know we shouldn't. {because none of it truly matters, it's all earthly} But... #thestruggleisreal, even if we don't want to admit it.
So lately, I have had to stop and reassess myself, my priorities. I used to praise God every time I got an email notification from TpT to my phone telling me I sold something... every time I heard the "ka-ching" of the TpT app. But then, I didn't seem to anymore....and I can't be like that. Every follower, every like, every comment, every sale is straight from Him. Because HE SENT IT. HE chose to bless ME in that moment. He doesn't have to.. I certainly don't deserve it. But He does. And HE deserves the glory. That was my goal with it all from day one... to honor and glorify His Name, and I've been dropping the ball lately. I've let it get to me. I've forgotten that is all for Him, and I already have everything I need. He walks along with me and gives me everything I need exactly when I need it. Yet it's not good enough for me. Well, it hasn't been, but I'm working on that..... like I said, #thestruggleisreal. Do you feel me? Or am I alone in this feeling? I can't be right, can I?
But through the struggle I will focus on Him. I will step back and stop making this about ME... because it's NOT ABOUT ME... it's only about Him!
If you happen to be reading this...thanks for reading. Thanks for following. Thanks for liking. Thank you, above all, for believing. For believing in teachers and women, like me, who struggle every day to be better, to be "good enough," to have what everyone else have.
YOU ARE! no matter what you think. #TheStruggleIsReal...but we are STRONG!
I sincerely appreciate your transparency in this post. I think it is so important to remember that God has a different walk planned for each one of us, and it's important not to closely watch the paths of others. Satan wants us to keep our eyes on "every one else", to compare, to question, to pause just long enough on our own path that we might stop altogether...or regress. I, too, struggle with those same thoughts, though I don't yet have any items for SALE in my TpT shop:) But, I do wonder when I stare at my 13 followers on FB....and then I remember I'm not a "Cara", or an "Erica"....or certainly not a "Deana"! He called them and blessed them on their walks; to want what they have, or even partially what they have, is to covet. TRUST me, that reminder doesn't stop the questions or the concerns about being just as good; but it does remind me that I must look for the joy in my own walk and be content with how God has chosen to bless me. Hold on, and rejoice in the waiting:) Your heart is clearly in the right place! Don't let the enemy mess with your head! I pray that He will bless you in such a way this week that you will be reassured with His plan for you:) The fact that you named your blog for Him speaks volumes; He knows. He sees. He will bless in His time (I've never been a fan of that phrase, either, but we know it's true! To Him, 1000 years is like a day, right?) Take care, Tami!
ReplyDeleteSweetSchoolMoments
Thank you so much! Your words, we'll HIS words through you, we're exactly what I needed. I used to remind myself often that I am exactly where He needs me and when, but something lately was blocking that and I will let it no longer. I also have known that I just couldn't be the only one being attacked by Satan and had to share and hopefully speak to at least one othere person. At leasthe I know I must be doing something right in glorifying and honoring God if Satan is teying to stop and bring me down! :) thanks again for your uplifting words Amber!! ♡
DeleteI feel ya... I feel like some people that have popped out of nowhere 2 minutes ago are "huge" all of a sudden. Not trying to be a hater, but I'm just saying I FEEL YOU ON THIS! I FEEL YOU ON THIS MAJORLY! Hang in there. Things will get better and I feel like maybe we're developing when it comes to quality and maybe not quantity. I like it better this way :)
ReplyDeleteStacey...I completely agree. You are thinking just what I am thinking, and I am glad I'm not alone. Hang in there, and email me anytime you feel this way and need to talk! I'm so glad I reached out and spoke from the heart.. I just KNEW I couldn't be the only one thinking this! :)
DeleteHey Tami- I really appreciate your honesty with this post. I have so many similar thoughts that you have had here today and I don't really know where to start to process. I'm new to blogging, TpT, you name it. It hasn't been a super long time, but I feel like some days it's super hard. I am trying to share and am hopeful that it will reach someone who wants to listen. I agree that everything happens how it is to happen. If one person gets something out of something that you post or make on TpT then amazing!!! That's how I need to start thinking too. We're all here for a common thread, so if we can give advice to one person or help even just one person with a blog post then we have done our job! Just keep doing what you're doing. As long as you enjoy it...keep doing it!
ReplyDeleteAna
Mrs. Bentin's Blackboard
Thank you, Ana! I am so excited to hear you have joined us all on this TpT and blogging journey. I hope you are loving it and I am glad my honesty has helped others. I keep losing track of the purpose of this all and am thankful for the reminder over the past few days. I definitely love this and hope you do too! I'm off to find your new blog now :)
DeleteMuch love! -Tami
Hi Tami! I follow you on Instagram and saw your post tonight, so I just had to come read it! Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty. I can assure you that you are definitely not alone! There are definitely days where I compare myself to others and think, "Why bother?!" You are not alone! We are all in this together!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Alisha
Missing Tooth Grins
Thank you Alisha! It seems so easy to forget (obviously) about the amazing support that is out there. I am so glad God tugged on my heart hard enough to post this... I am overwhelmed right now by the friends around me with their love! We are definitely all in this together! :) thanks, lovely!
DeleteTami!!! :) You touched my heart here! (I may have teared up...but I'm a real sap, so ignore me!) This is completely true. I don't even know what else to say. I find myself throwing my hands in the air when that cha-ching goes off...but am I really thanking HIM? You definitely were transparent as everyone else said, and we truly appreciate it. We all feel like this from time to time because like you said, we compare and compare and compare. Your post reminded me of that song, "Life of Praise" by Casting Crowns. Check it out if you haven't. This line always sticks out to me: "I will lift my hands cause you are worthy of SO much more." I truly need to remember this. We tend to put these big-name TPTers up on a pedestal. Like you said, we need to remember they are not who we are praising. HE is worthy of SO much more than we give him credit for. You are awesome at what you do. I reached out to you early in my TPT days, and you encouraged me to NO END. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Keep it up, girl!
ReplyDeleteMeredith
Creativity to the Core
Meredith, I love that song! That line is a wonderful one, and I will definitely keep it in mind every time I hear that ka-ching! I am so thankful you reached out to me and I continue to pray for you in your new position. I know God has you placed exactly where you need to be and I can't wait to see what He does through you!! Thank you for your friendship and support, and for being an encouraging and loving sister in Christ!! :)
DeleteThank you so much for posting this wonderful post. I felt like it was totally directed by me to me! I appreciate your honesty and I take comfort in knowing that iam not the only one with that struggle. God is good! See how he has used you and this post to reach so many? So glad I found you!
ReplyDeleteKaren
An Apple a Day in First Grade
Karen, thank you so much! God is SO good! He definitely led me through that entire post.. I am so glad it spoke to your heart and to the heart of others. Somehow I seemed to forget that I am not alone in all of this.. thank you for your love and support - I am so glad you found me too!! :)
DeleteSuch a wonderful post...and I'm so glad it made its way to me! I haven't been on this journey as long as you have, but much of what you say definitely resonates with me. It's such a blessing to be able to sell on TPT and share the love of teaching I have with others, but often times I forget to give God the glory for it. My focus should be on God and let everything else fall into place, not the other way around. Thanks so much for this wake up call and for sharing your heart! I'll keep you in my prayers through your struggle!
ReplyDeleteKelsey Buckles
Simply Magical Learning
Awe, thank you so much! I am so glad God led you to this post too - He is so good at that :) Keep working hard and giving Him the glory. You will do fantastic! I'll keep you in my prayers as well :)
DeleteGod Bless! -Tami
I always get jealous when I discover a new friend who just started blogging around the same time as me and have so many more followers :( I feel like it's a competition and it really shouldn't be. So girl... I fell ya!!! #sameboat hehe
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Ashley
Coffee and Lesson Plans